I’ve never been one for beginnings
I’m way too focused on the end
Starting over?
What do you mean?
Leaving behind everything I built for something else?
No thank you.
I ceremonialize everything I love
And when it ends, a death
And deaths, in my mind, always require mourning
Because mourning is an act of love
When I was in first grade, my best friend told me she needed glasses and was going to start wearing them the next day
I cried that night
Because that meant things were changing, that we weren’t always going to be the same six year old best friends in Ms. May’s class
Part of me envies people who readily embrace change, who embrace the start of something new and are seemingly flawless at “moving on”
But part of me wants to ask them
Did you love enough?
Did you love what you’re leaving, enough?
Because every time I leave something I love it kills me
I feel like I’m dying all the time
Until I love the new thing
And I’m alive again
Being alive and dying
At the same time
Are we not all doing just that?
Living & dying
All the time
Wow. Love love love this. I always thought I was so dramatic mourning every little thing when change happens. I’m so glad to know I’m not alone in that feeling! ❤️